#Planned Parenthood wants to teach 3-year-olds about sex

[trueconservativepundit]

You Will Be Shocked When You Learn What Planned Parenthood Wants To Teach Preschoolers About Sex

You Will Be Shocked When You Learn What Planned Parenthood Wants To Teach Preschoolers About Sex

What should we teach children that are three and four years old about sex? If you said “nothing” in response to that question, that was the right answer. Exposing very young children to graphic material about human sexuality at a very early age can be extremely detrimental, but that is precisely what Planned Parenthood wants to do. And I am not just talking about run of the mill sexual education.…

[mcors]

A Sickle Cell Child

by Hertz Nazaire

Just coming back from the 46th Annual National Convention for the Sickle Cell Disease Association of America, Inc. (SCDAA).

On Friday, October 12, from 1:30 pm – 3:00 pm for the Lonzie Lee Jones Patient Advocacy Symposium. We played an educational version of Hollywood Squares, everyone was having a good time happy, laughing, and smiling. 

We all know how heavy the Sickle Cell topic can be for all of us touched by this pain.

A fellow Warrior in the audience stood up at the end and gave us all a shock to the system.

A reminder that this pain runs very deep and everyone is trying very hard to find a way to erase it from existence. 

What she had to say comes from a line of talk, that we hear often. How to stop a child with Sickle Cell Disease from ever being born. Many people push hard for couples to get tested and knowing their status. But some people feel strongly that none of us who have the Sickle Trait or Disease should ever have sex and hells no on having a child.

So sitting there on stage with a group of successful adults and young people who have been standing against this pain all of their lives and still finding their gifts through hard effort. I felt drained.

I spoke out loud, not to reply to the beautiful young lady saying these things, but to myself.

I needed to remind myself, that no matter how depressed I get in this life, no matter the hardships I face, I still want to live. I still want to exist. I still have my art to create.

I am really tired of people thinking they have a right to erase my mother's choice. One of the very few things I know about my mother is the fact that she told me that my father wanted her to have an abortion when she got pregnant with me. My mother made a different choice. And I exist in this world because of that choice. A sperm cell is nothing without an egg, and an egg is nothing without that sperm cell but although it take the two. This is a choice that I feel only a woman can make because her body has to carry that life forward, while most men can simply walk away like my father did, like my step-father did.

I had a chance to be a father once. On September 11, 2001. I made love to my girlfriend and we had the chance to bring a life into this world. The thing is, I was not even thinking about her Sickle Cell Trait status. I never really had a chance to think about it, not in this world. Mental Health had more to do with why a choice was made and I never became a father. 

I blame myself even now, that I was not strong enough to guide her through her sadness and tears about the pregnancy. I was still there with her although I wanted to run, I was at that Planned Parenthood office in that waiting room watching 12 year olds making the same choices adults should only make. I was 28 and I thought we could have made a different choice together.

I still feel that this was my greatest failure as a man, I wish I had more money, it is always about MONEY! I loved this girl but honestly in the end I see like most women who enter my life it was about the sex and how long my priapism fueled penis lasted.

I try to give myself some slack, because you have to understand being a male with Sickle Cell is HARD! You have to try so much harder to get a girl to notice you. We try HARD to please the women who enter our lives. I was always the sucker who wrote the love poetry, and got the roses delivered without the need for a holiday. I was a painter so most women I've been around long enough have a portrait I painted to show them they were on my mind.

When you live with Sickle Cell Pain and this pain only has one thing to show you about living in your body. It HURTS! It hurts badly! Then you discover sex and become driven to turn it into an art. I had a long distance girlfriend who called me "Voodoo Dick" she would drive the 5 hours it took to get into my bed when she had time off from work. 

I was young and still pretty stupid and we would have these marathon sex sessions, and because of my Sickle Cell and Priapism, we once went at it for over 8 hours only stoping for short breaks of water. 

Priapism is the worst kind of Sickle Pain a man can have, it takes everything from you mentally.

It crushes you and it can take away your ability to even feel like a man. Sometimes for me these erections came without the pain, I don't know why but I was always grateful because the pain was never a pleasure. At the time I was young and sex was just one of those challenges I had to work harder at than any other male.

Everything in my life takes a huge amount of effort, I have been in love many times. I have also been deeply alone for the past 12 years. Because I love women way too much but I can't be stupid about my efforts any longer. I am still a very sexual creature inside and any woman who enters my life would need to know that about me. Even at 45, my heart may not survive some of the things I did at 25 but I am very intense about all I do. My sexuality is still very intense and focused on art creation. Anything you can't put all your effort into is just not worth doing for me.

Women have told me in the past that I am too intense, intimidating, or feel they have to walk on egg shells around me. I take them at their word that I am that type of man. I don't enjoy stress, I have been hospitalized enough times over needless drama. Fighting for your life in an ICU just because someone does not understand that picking a fight just to stress you out is not a healthy way to show love.

I've been abused enough in my life, I don't want to be an abuser when all I want is someone to love and share my days with me. Not all my days will be pain free. Nothing in my life is painless, I am surrounded by eggshells so you'll need to learn how to walk on a minefield. I don't avoid something because it's hard. I want to use my energy and effort in the best and most efficient way possible. 

We are all going to die someday none of us is immune from Death is is our fate. But we have to learn to respect that all lives should have that chance to exist and go through that process we call Life.

Having to hear that someone's purpose in life is to find the most efficient way to make sure others with my genetic make up no longer exists in this world is deeply hurtful to me. I understand the problem life with Sickle Cell is really hard, I know this, I'm living that life.

I just don't understand your rejection of the efforts it took for me to still be here standing in the same space and breathing the same air you breathe. 

Spend all the effort you want on Sickle Cell Trait education to avoid more lives of hardship like mines. My personal feelings are your efforts are misguided.  The answer is not how to wipe us out of existence so you can get rid of a pain disease that is hard for you to look at. A life is a life. 

My life is providing this world with a challenge I understand that, but I have no choice but to live this life and fight for my own existence. I want to survive because my brain has the awareness that my life matters even when it is painful to live that life. It still matters that I am here. I understand I am not the best man or mate for anyone to fall in love with.

But instead of trying to get rid of people like me, should the effort not be on how to make my life better? How to end my painful moments, how to help me carry out my purpose?

If I was born brain-dead I would not want to be here, I would not even be aware that I wanted to live or even what the concept of life means. My brain is aware that I exist. Most of my body still functions well enough for a decent life. In fact I know I am having a far better life than most who never have to face the challenges of Sickle Cell Disease. Many are born into terrible conditions of existence surrounded by war, hatred, and deep poverty. A suffering that no human should go through. Yet no one is staying let's educate the world about stoping these people from being born into these conditions. No they recognize that the condition is the problem not the life living it. The condition should be the focus. 

We are buying into an idea where we are saying these people should not have been born. I know some in this world think I should never have been born because I am Black. Simple as that! Now we are giving them the excuse of Sickle Cell Disease to wipe us out? Because Sickle Cell is Hard? Hard on who? On them?

Educate people to make their choices all you want. I have spoken to a few mothers who had to make that choice when they found out they were pregnant and found out both the man and woman have the sickle cell trait. They wanted to know about my life so far.  I told them of all my hardships and challenges. And they made a choice based on my experience. 

Yet my challenges, all came from the fact I only knew my mother for about 5 years of my life.  She died when I was 13 and I did not start to live with her until I was about 8. Educate these people with compassion, do not teach them that there is only one acceptable choice or one moral choice based on your life experience. Not everyone is ready to be a parent, and not everyone should be a parent regardless if Sickle Cell plays a role in that choice. 

[nolimitsongrace]

Voting for Life—The No. 1 Issue in the Nation

Abortion and the 2020 Election: 5 Questions AnsweredOctober 13, 2020

There’s no question about it.

The moral foundation of our nation is being undermined and attacked. We are witnessing things in this nation that are devil-inspired. It’s time for the people of God to be unashamed and take a stand for righteousness.

As the 2020 election approaches, there are forces pushing an agenda against the Word of God, and we have an opportunity to stand firm.

One critical issue where we must arise and take action is abortion—the deliberate termination of a human pregnancy. As Christians, this must be a nonnegotiable issue in our voting. Why? Because it is nonnegotiable to God. Voting for candidates who are in favor of abortion makes us accomplices to murder, whether we agree with abortion or not.

There is a lot at stake in 2020 when it comes to abortion, and many new issues have arisen. Here, we’re answering five questions about abortion and the 2020 election to help you make an informed and biblical decision.

1. Where does the Democratic Party stand on the issue of abortion?

Many people cast their vote with one issue in mind—often focused on a financial benefit they believe they will receive. The problem with this line of thinking is that it discounts the implications of the rest of what that party stands for.

When it comes to abortion, we as Christians have a responsibility to protect God’s creation. It’s part of stewardship on the earth. So, in the 2020 election, the party platforms matter.

First, we’ll take a look at where the Democratic Party stands on the issue of abortion. The Democratic Party platform states the following:

Democrats are committed to protecting and advancing reproductive health, rights, and justice. We believe unequivocally…that every woman should be able to access high-quality reproductive health care services, including safe and legal abortion. We will repeal the Title X domestic gag rule and restore federal funding for Planned Parenthood….

Democrats oppose and will fight to overturn federal and state laws that create barriers to reproductive health and rights. We will repeal the Hyde Amendment, and protect and codify the right to reproductive freedom.

Key takeaways:

Democrats are in favor of abortion.

Democrats want to force taxpayers to pay for abortion. (See Question 4.)

Democrats don’t mention any limits on the procedure or the stage of development of the unborn baby. (See Question 5.)

Note: Democratic elected officials vote with their party platform 74% of the time.

2. Where does the Republican Party stand on the issue of abortion?

Now, let’s take a look at where the Republican Party stands on the issue of abortion. The Republican Party platform states the following on protecting human life:

The Constitution’s guarantee that no one can “be deprived of life, liberty or property” deliberately echoes the Declaration of Independence’s proclamation that “all” are “endowed by their Creator” with the inalienable right to life. Accordingly, we assert the sanctity of human life and affirm that the unborn child has a fundamental right to life which cannot be infringed. We support a human life amendment to the Constitution and legislation to make clear that the Fourteenth Amendment’s protections apply to children before birth.

We oppose the use of public funds to perform or promote abortion or to fund organizations, like Planned Parenthood, so long as they provide or refer for elective abortions or sell fetal body parts rather than provide healthcare. We urge all states and Congress to make it a crime to acquire, transfer, or sell fetal tissues from elective abortions for research, and we call on Congress to enact a ban on any sale of fetal body parts. In the meantime, we call on Congress to ban the practice of misleading women on so-called fetal harvesting consent forms, a fact revealed by a 2015 investigation. We will not fund or subsidize healthcare that includes abortion coverage.

We support the appointment of judges who respect traditional family values and the sanctity of innocent human life. We oppose the non-consensual withholding or withdrawal of care or treatment, including food and water, from individuals with disabilities, newborns, the elderly, or the infirm, just as we oppose euthanasia and assisted suicide.

We condemn the Supreme Court’s activist decision in Whole Woman’s Health v. Hellerstedt striking down commonsense Texas laws providing for basic health and safety standards in abortion clinics.

We call on Congress to ban sex-selection abortions and abortions based on disabilities — discrimination in its most lethal form.

This is only an excerpt of the Republican Party’s strong stand for life. We encourage you to read the entire statement in the platform.

With regard to Democrat support of abortion, the Republican Platform states:

Democrats’ almost limitless support for abortion, and their strident opposition to even the most basic restrictions on abortion, put them dramatically out of step with the American people. Because of their opposition to simple abortion clinic safety procedures, support for taxpayer-funded abortion, and rejection of pregnancy resource centers that provide abortion alternatives, the old Clinton mantra of “safe, legal, and rare” has been reduced to just “legal.” We are proud to be the party that protects human life and offers real solutions for women.

           Key takeaways:

Republicans stand for life and against abortion.

Republicans pledge to protect the unborn, as well as provide support and alternatives for pregnant women in need of assistance.

Republicans have taken a strong stand against the brutal practice of late-term abortion and the harvesting and selling of fetal body parts.

Republicans oppose taxpayer-funded abortions.

3. Where does the Bible stand on the issue of abortion?

In one of the most powerful teachings on where the Bible stands on the issue of abortion, Pastor George Pearsons recently shared 10 scriptures on what God thinks about abortion. We’ve shared them for you here.

Deuteronomy 30:19: “This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live” (NIV).

Life begins in the womb. It is not a blob or a tissue—it is a human being, a person with a future, an anointing and a call from God with a purpose on this earth. God’s Word is clear—we are to choose life.

Proverbs 6:16-17: “There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood” (NIV).

Psalm 139:13: “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.”

Psalm 22:31: “His righteous acts will be told to those not yet born. They will hear about everything he has done.”

Isaiah 44:2: “This is what the Lord says—he who made you, who formed you in the womb, and who will help you” (NIV).

Isaiah 46:3: “Listen to me, you descendants of Jacob, all the remnant of the people of Israel, you whom I have upheld since your birth, and have carried since you were born” (NIV).

Jeremiah 1:5: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart” (NIV).

Before you were born, God knew you. He set you apart. That is how special you were even before you were even born. The same applies to every unborn baby.

Psalm 78:5-6: “He established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children; that the generation to come might know them, the children who would be born” (NKJV).

Ecclesiastes 11:5: “As you do not know what is the way of the wind, or how the bones grow in the womb of her who is with child, so you do not know the works of God who makes everything” (NKJV).

Luke 1:41: “At the sound of Mary’s greeting, Elizabeth’s child leaped within her, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.”

Certainly, there are far more verses that affirm God’s value of life, even in the womb. There is no question where God stands on abortion. He is always for life.

Watch Pastor George Pearsons preach a powerful message on abortion.

4. What is the Hyde Amendment?

There is a lot of talk about the Hyde Amendment in this election cycle. Democrats, for the first time, are seeking to repeal this important piece of legislation. Here is an explanation of the Hyde Amendment and why it’s so important in the 2020 election.

The Hyde Amendment prohibits federal Medicaid dollars (taxpayer dollars) from paying for abortion, unless the life of the mother is at risk.

The Hyde Amendment was first enacted by Congress in 1976 and has been passed each year since then with bipartisan support.

The majority of Americans oppose their tax dollars paying for abortion.

With the passage of the Hyde Amendment, the abortion rate dropped significantly, saving an estimated 2.1 million lives.

The move by Democrats to repeal the Hyde Amendment is just one example of how extreme they’ve become in the area of abortion. It’s time for the Church to arise and stand up for these precious unborn little ones.

5. What is the Born-Alive Infant Protection Act and the Pain Capable Unborn Child Protection Act?

While there is no mention of the Born-Alive Infant Protection Act or the Pain Capable Unborn Child Protection Act in the Democratic Party platform, the following is an excerpt from the Republican Party platform explaining both, which were authored by Republicans.

We applaud the U.S. House of Representatives for leading the effort to add enforcement to the Born-Alive Infant Protection Act by passing the Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act, which imposes appropriate civil and criminal penalties on healthcare providers who fail to provide treatment and care to an infant who survives an abortion, including early induction delivery whether the death of the infant is intended. We strongly oppose infanticide. Over a dozen states have passed Pain Capable Unborn Child Protection Acts prohibiting abortion after twenty weeks, the point at which current medical research shows that unborn babies can feel excruciating pain during abortions, and we call on Congress to enact the federal version. Not only is it good legislation, but it enjoys the support of a majority of the American people. We support state and federal efforts against the cruelest forms of abortion, especially dismemberment abortion procedures, in which unborn babies are literally torn apart limb from limb.

These 5 questions and answers about abortion and the 2020 election are a lot to take in, but there is an urgency in this matter. More than 60 million babies have gone through this horrific experience, and their blood is crying out for justice. God will hold us responsible for how we vote on this issue. This is why we are voting for life in the 2020 election!

Watch as our special panel on Believers’ Voice of Victory discusses why abortion is the No. 1 issue to consider when voting.

Related Articles:

The 2020 Election: What’s Really at Stake?

5 Prayer Points for the 2020 Election

5 Things Every Christian Should Know About the Equality Act

7 Ways to Get Out the Christian Vote

© 1997 - 2020 Eagle Mountain International Church Inc. Aka Kenneth Copeland Ministries. All Rights Reserved.

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FaithBuilders

Comments

[bluebubblewater]

Sorry for the long post. :)

This is a breakdown of a post I saw and this is my response to it, issue by issue.

“Okay, it’s time to rant. I am really starting to get fed up with this whole “Women’s rights” thing. What the heck is wrong with women these days?”

Women’s rights is not a “thing” it is a movement for equality between men and women of all ages, ethnicity, belief systems, sexuality, position in society, place of origin, and political beliefs. A movement that has existed for more than 100 years, promoting the rights of all humans beings based on the fact that we are ALL human and not some sub-category that is somehow worth less than another. It is a powerful movement that has enabled women to: vote, own property, choose a spouse, choose to have kids, divorce her spouse, drive, go to school, go to college, press charges against rapists and harassers (both of men and women), work in places of power, effect change, and so much more, the main thing is it has been from this movement that we as women can CHOOSE. What is wrong with women indeed, there are enough struggles we have to face without other women adding to them because of being uninformed.

“Let me get this straight, Trump was voted president, and this ruins your life how? What has he ever done to you?”

The fact that we now have President Trump in office for the next 4 years doesn’t “ruin” our lives but it does have the potential to make them harder and to jeopardize some of our human rights that he thinks we shouldn’t have. In my humble and fairly educated, and constantly evolving, opinion, no one should be able to place a law on what I want to do to MY body, ever. Especially not a bunch of rich, old, white, MEN. My body my choice, would I personally ever choose to have an abortion? Probably not, but I want that choice, because until it has at least a small chance of living outside of my body it is not  its own person and is simply part of my body.

“Sure, maybe he insulted women once, but you know what? IT’S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD! “

Our President Trump has insulted women more than just “once” and on more than a “few” occasions. Quite frankly he doesn't seem to see what is wrong with doing so, but thinks/says that it is all in good fun. Here’s a couple quotes that I was told when I was a kid and stuck with me “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” and “If the person the joke involves isn’t laughing, it isn’t funny”. I don’t find insults to women or anyone really as funny, I find them rude and a good portrait of the person saying it.

“And frankly all women who take THAT much offence to a few insults deserves to be insulted”

“Deserves to be insulted”? Really so if I call some a “bigoted, fascist, egotistical, emotional infant, bitchy bastard of a SOB, mother f*cker” then they have no right to be upset because if they are then they deserve it. Right? Think about that for a bit.

“I am a woman but I don’t care that Trump is president, and Trump has three daughter and a wife, do you see them taking any offence? No!”

I am a woman too, and to be entirely honest I thought we were going to be screwed with whoever became president because none of them were fully a “good” choice. Fact check he has two daughters named Ivanka and Tiffany and has had three wives. And how do you know that they don’t take offense? People around me who don’t know me can’t tell when I take offense unless I either let it show or tell them. Just because they are supporting their father and husband in public does not mean they agree with him in private. Don’t make assumptions, they make you look like an ass.

“Besides, it’s not like Trump is taking away all of our rights, when did he ever say he was going to do that?”

He is cutting funding to Planned Parenthood, which is not just an organization that does abortion. It is an organization that provides information about: Abortion(what it entails and other options), birth control, contraceptives, the importance of body image, general health care that includes testing, screening, vaccines, and exams, etc., men’s sexual health, pregnancy, relationships, sex, sexuality, sexual orientation, gender, STDs and women’s health. All of this important information and services and President Trump is cutting the funding for it. He is trying to overturn the Supreme Court ruling in the Roe v. Wade case where it was decided that women’s right to privacy and therefore abortion is protected under the 14th amendment as long as the abortion happens before the “fetus is viable” meaning it can survive being born. It is a human right and I will fight to protect it. But you have a point he didn’t say he was going to take”away all of our rights” but it starts small and as the saying goes “give an inch they’ll take a mile”.

“So can you guys stop freaking out over EVERYTHING?”

We aren’t freaking out about anything. We are legally voicing our objection to the wrongs committed against us as human beings. We are legally voicing our objection to the proposed laws and ideals that infringe on our human rights.

“And stop with the women’s marches! What exactly do ya’ll think that’s going to do? Get Trump thrown out of office? Nope.”

The point of the women’s march was not about President Trump. It was about equality for everyone and the opportunity for people who support different issues within the realm of equality and human rights to come out and support each other under the banner of Women’s Rights. The march was about standing together and knowing that we are not alone. It was about supporting each other across the world as one people not as sub-people groups. Some people used it as a platform to tell/show the world that we will not allow anyone to oppress us again and to not even try it. Some people used to the platform to oppose President Trump, his beliefs, and plans. Some people used it as a platform to encourage people in countries across the world to fight for their freedom and equality. Some people used it as a platform for pro-choice. Some people used it as a platform for workplace equality and equal pay. It was NOT about Trump, me or you, it is about equality for everyone. Period.

“All it does is prove his point about women and annoy all of the other billion of people who disagree with you!”

I’m sorry how does 3.6-4.6 million people across the globe marching together for equal rights prove his point? Explain it to me. How do you hear about that many people across the world marching together unified in their stance of equality, and think something negative about that?

“(Oh, and btw after you guys did your little march thank you SO MUCH for leaving all of your signs strewn about the streets! I’m sure that there were many female sanitation workers that had to stay out late last night cleaning up after you geniuses ^_^)”

Yes because you know other marches and protests for other issues NEVER leave signs on the road. And yeah there were people who had to pick the stuff up just like they would if there was a parade and they got paid for it. As long as the men and women doing the same job get the same pay, I don’t see an issue.

“Oh, and to be honest, I have no idea what the hell you guys are even marching for!”

Well that has been quite obvious. Maybe look up what you bash before you bash it next time.

“Women’s right?”

Human Rights and Equality.

“God gave us breasts and a uterus so that we could stay home and raise a family while the men worked to provide for us.”

Well if that was the only reason we exist then why are there women and men who physically can’t have children? And don’t give me the “atoning for their sins” crap if that was how it works a whole lot less people could have kids. And news flash! Women have taken an active part in building societies and settlements since the beginning of time. I come from a home where my biological father physically and emotionally abused me, my mom, and my three siblings. He couldn’t keep a job and would quit whenever he felt like it, moving my entire family literally across the nation in his quest of finding a job he would keep. Six states, countless jobs and escalation of physical abuse happened before my mom finally filed for divorce. and he said to my 14yo sisters face that he didn’t want anything to do with us kids. He paid parts of child support for about 2-3 years before he dropped off the map to avoid paying for almost 8 years. He only began paying after he was found and taken to court. So forgive me if I think that “men=provider” and “women=supporter” is fucking bullshit. I was given breasts and a uterus so that I could have sex with the ability to have children if I so choose to. I was given a brain to use to its fullest. I want a career and I don’t really want kids of my own, that may change as I get older but then it will still be MY choice. I will be a provider for myself and anyone else who I decide to bring under my care.

“But now we have the right to vote, to work, run companies and even run for president!”

You say that women have the right to vote, work, run companies and run for public offices as if they were some kind of gifts that we were given. Women and men fought for those rights, human rights that should have been acknowledged in the first place.

“So what more do you want?”

I want to walk alone at night in the city and not have to worry about cat calls and rude gestures from the men I walk by possible evolving into sexual assault because they “think” I am encouraging them by ignoring them. I want the rape culture we have in our Great American Society to change so that we are teaching our boys and men that it is not ok to continue advancing when you have been ignored or told “no” or “go to hell” or “leave me alone”. Instead of teaching our girls to not dress “sexily” or “revealing”. I want my saying “no” to have more weight than me saying “I have a boyfriend” when turning someone down. I want equal pay for equal work. I want equality. Simple.

“Did you know that in Pakistan and certain places of the Soviet Union women are still used as slaves!”

I did know that actually and that is another issue that the women’s march addressed. We want to end inequality everywhere, that does not mean that we make things less equal here so that people don’t feel so bad about the inequality elsewhere. If anything we should continue to push for full equality here in the United States of America so that we can be an example of an equality to the world.

“And that around the world there are women being sold as prostitutes?”

Once again, yes I did know that and yes it is horrible and should be abolished throughout the world. So why do you try and use the women who have it worse off than us, women in America, to put us down, to try and make us submit to men like they are forced to? I will never submit my will to anyone, it is my own as is my body and mind. I will fight for mine and every woman and man’s right to choose what they do with their own body and mind.

“But “Oh no a big bad man told is we’re not allowed to murder our unborn children now we must rebel…”

What the? First why is a man trying to tell me what to do with my body? Second it isn’t alive until it can survive on its own outside of the women’s body, therefore I can’t murder it. If we were going to rebel this would be a small point on the vast canvas of grievances.

“Here’s some advice: Either get over it, or get out of this country.”

Um no, we are in America I can say and believe anything I want to because that is my right, a protected right, as a human being. How about you accept that your opinion is just that an opinion not a fact or law.

“And to be clear, no, I don’t think that Trump is going to be the greatest president there ever was,”

Well looky there we agree on something.

“and did he have to say those things about women? That’s debateable.”

Nope not debatable, no one “has to” say mean things to or about anyone ever. Period.

“But I have faith in him to lead our country right because while nobody is perfect, it’s clear that the good he can do for us outweighs his bad tenfold.”

You’re right no one is perfect and I hope with my whole heart that he will prove me wrong and does more good than bad for this country and the people living in it. I do not think that his “good” plans outweigh the negatives he has said and plans to do, but I don’t compare them as a balance but simply pros and cons.

“And that is all I have to say. And for all of you who disagree with this post feel free to hate me and insult me. I don’t care because I’m not going to take offence…. Thank you.”

I think I am also done. I am glad you won’t take offense to me disagreeing with you but please don’t feel as if I am hating on you or your post, I simply have a very different opinion than you do.

Also, offense is spelt with an -s-.... Maybe while you are checking your facts, check your spelling too.

[fancydolly-blog]

With click-on highlights from The Andrea Dworkin Online Library Andrea Dworkin is antisex. FALSE. Her early fiction is especially rich with narration about both lesbian and heterosexual lovemaking--for example, "a simple story of a lesbian girlhood" and "First Love." Andrea Dworkin believes "Coitus is punishment." FALSE. This line is said by a fictional character in her novel Ice and Fire. The character is paraphrasing Franz Kafka. Andrea Dworkin is antilesbian and lives with a man. A HALF-TRUTH. She has lived since 1974 with the writer John Stoltenberg, whose essay about living with Andrea appeared in Lambda Book Report in 1994. They have both been out for more than two decades. In a 1975 speech to a Lesbian Pride Week rally, Andrea called her love of women "the soil in which my life is rooted." Andrea Dworkin believes that battered women have the right to kill their batterer. TRUE. She said so in a 1991 speech to a conference about women and mental health, and she said so again, right after O.J. Simpson was acquitted on criminal charges, in an opinion piece about Nicole Brown Simpson for the Los Angeles Times. Andrea Dworkin believes women are superior to men. FALSE. She not only rejects this view but has publicly confronted other feminists who believe it, as she explains in "Biological Superiority: The World's Most Dangerous and Deadly Idea." Andrea Dworkin believes that all intercourse is rape. FALSE. She has never said this. She sets the record straight in a 1995 interview with British novelist Michael Moorcock. And in a new preface to the tenth-anniversary edition of Intercourse (1997), Andrea explains why she believes this book continues to be misread:    [I]f one's sexual experience has always and without exception been based on dominance--not only overt acts but also metaphysical and ontological assumptions--how can one read this book? The end of male dominance would mean--in the understanding of such a man--the end of sex. If one has eroticized a differential in power that allows for force as a natural and inevitable part of intercourse, how could one understand that this book does not say that all men are rapists or that all intercourse is rape? Equality in the realm of sex is an antisexual idea if sex requires domination in order to register as sensation. As sad as I am to say it, the limits of the old Adam--and the material power he still has, especially in publishing and media--have set limits on the public discourse (by both men and women) about this book [pages ix-x]. Earlier in her life, Andrea Dworkin prostituted. TRUE. In an autobiographical essay written for the Contemporary Authors reference series, Andrea writes of a time in her life, beginning in her late teens, when "I fucked for food and shelter and whatever cash I needed." She cites a letter she wrote in reply to the author John Irving, published in The New York Times Book Review May 3, 1992, and in that letter she describes a time when, "homeless, poor, . . . sexually traumatized, I learned to trade sex for money. I spent a lot of years out on the street, living hand to mouth." That experience, according to this letter, is part of what informs the commitment behind all her writing: "With pornography, a woman can still be sold after the beatings, the rapes, the pain, the humiliation, have killed her. I write for her, in behalf of her, I try to intervene before she dies. I know her. I have come close to being her." In a speech given in October of the same year, she again publicly identifies with prostituted women: "...the premises of the prostituted woman are my premises." Andrea Dworkin is antiabortion. FALSE. She is a longtime supporter of NARAL and Planned Parenthood, politics she learned from her mother, as she tells in the interview with Michael Moorcock. But in her book Right-wing Women, Andrea sharply criticizes the male-dominated political left for promoting "abortion on male terms, as part of sexual liberation," rather than as self-determination for women. Andrea Dworkin is an "essentialist"--she believes, for instance, that men are biologically driven to dominate. FALSE. From her very first book, Woman Hating (1974), Andrea has said that gender is a social lie, and she has explicitly rejected the notion that "men" and "women" exist in nature. "It is not true that there are two sexes which are discrete and opposite," she says in a speech given in 1975. And in a chapter published in 1981, she mourns the tragedy of the socialization that male children endure ("How does it happen that the male child whose sense of life is so vivid that he imparts humanity to sun and stone changes into the adult male who cannot grant or even imagine the common humanity of women?"). Andrea Dworkin got an antipornography law passed in Canada. FALSE. While it is true that in 1993 the Supreme Court of Canada changed Canada's criminal statute against pornography in a decision called Butler, Andrea in fact opposed the feminist lobbying efforts that led to this court decision--as a public statement about Canada makes clear--because she does not believe in obscenity law. Andrea Dworkin's own books have been censored due to feminist anti-pornography efforts in Canada. FALSE. As the same public statement explains, several of Andrea's books were once detained for inspection by Canadian Customs officials but under procedural guidelines that were in effect for years before 1993 and have been unaffected by the Butler decision. (The books then passed routinely into Canada.) In a debate with Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz, Andrea Dworkin flipped him the finger. FALSE. That is not her debating style. The photograph of the two them in Alan Dershowitz's autobiography, The Best Defense, actually shows Andrea making a characteristic gesture for emphasis. Unfortunately the full record of what really transpired during their 1981 debate at Radcliffe College has been suppressed--by Mr. Dershowitz himself. He has refused to permit The Schlessinger Library for Women, which sponsored the debate, to distribute the tape recording. But Andrea's opening remarks are now available in the Andrea Dworkin Online Library. American Civil Liberties Union president Nadine Strossen, in her book Defending Pornography, tells the following story:    The late John Preston, a gay activist and writer, illustrated Andrea Dworkin's long-standing antipathy toward any expression of male sexuality, including gay male sexuality, by recounting her actions during the early 1970s when he was director of the Gay House, Inc., in Minneapolis:        Dworkin used to run a lesbian discussion group in the center. One of her favorite antics back then was to deface any poster or other material that promoted male homosexuality. "THIS OPPRESSES WOMEN!" she'd write all over the place.... THE STORY IS FALSE. Preston's original newspaper article (published in the Boston Phoenix) claims Andrea Dworkin was in Minneapolis in 1971. But at that time she actually was living in Amsterdam as a battered wife, as she recounts in an autobiographical essay written for the Contemporary Authors reference series. She later escaped and moved to New York City. She went to Minneapolis for the first time in fall 1983 to teach a semester at the University of Minnesota. While there, she was invited to address a conference of 500 men. That speech was later published as "I Want a Twenty-Four-Hour Truce During Which There Is No Rape." Against many lies spread about her by the American Civil Liberties Union over the years, Andrea has long tried to raise "a real debate about the values and tactics of the ACLU," as she writes in "The ACLU: Bait and Switch." Andrea Dworkin believes that rape, battery, prostitution, and pornography are violations of women's civil rights. TRUE. Feminist organizing against rape, battery, prostitution, and pornography is the theme of many writings available in the Andrea Dworkin Online Library. A good place to start is the extensive table of contents for Letters From a War Zone, which includes many speeches she gave to Take Back the Night rallies, including "The Night and Danger," about the relation of violence against women to racism.

Nikki Craft, The Lie Detector http://www.nostatusquo.com/ACLU/dworkin/LieDetect.html

[seraphineradio-blog]

America Today

Americans today forget that we had to fight for our right to liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  We did not win this country in a game of yahtzee.  We went to war for it.  So when people complain about any infringement of their rights, or other tyranny but refuse to stand up for the right to maintain those rights, promised to us in the Bill of rights and constitution.  I cannot help but ask, “Where is your spine?”  You’re an American.  We fight for what’s right.  It’s what we do.  We are programmed to “Go, fight, win!” Not, “Come, discuss, we will see.”  If you do not believe me listen to any cheerleading chant at a high school foot ball game.

Finally, we have a President who stands for something.  Fights for what he believes in like a true American.  He does not care about the art of politics.  Of course the bureaucratic machine is going to be in upheaval.  President Trump threatens the very core of their ability to continue existing.  Two hundred years ago it was impossible to have the necessary foresight to include the necessary provisions for the inevitable evolution this country would progress through.  The fundamentals this country’s foundation is built on is not the problem.  It’s the bureaucratic machine that’s been built on top of it that’s the issue.  It is the reason we are at a stale mate.

The reality many of us do not want to face, is that bureaucracy as we know it today needs to be dismantled.  We have exhausted the service options, and the time has come to replace it.  The question remains with what exactly?  Unfortunately, there is a comfort in the familiar even if it’s all wrong.  It’s why a victim of domestic violence keeps going back to her abuser.  It’s easier to do nothing and accept the circumstances like an obedient little robot than stand up for your rights.  Unacceptable.  Do something, anything, even if you make a mistake, but please do not do nothing.

Do not misunderstand me,I do not agree with every action President Trump has taken or is contemplating.  He does need to stay out of a woman’s vagina and stop trying to take away a woman’s right to chose what she does with her body.  It’s ironic that’s the one issue he is so deeply concerned about over other issues.

Discrimination goes beyond skin color and religion.  People fail to discuss the discrimination against women that still exists.  Fact is, slavery was abolished before women were given the right to vote.  It was not until 1974 that it became illegal to rape or put hands on your wife.  Women still make less than a man for the same job. If President Trump manages to over turn Roe v. Wade, and take away this woman’s right we fought so hard for, what is next?  The fact he has gift wrapped taking away any woman’s right with saving babies does not make it okay.  Every woman should be outraged at this infringement of her rights regardless of your stance on abortion.

We, as Americans fought to protect our God given right to chose.  To attempt to take that gift away from anyone is blasphemy.  Because who is anyone to say they know better than God?  The amount of vanity one must contain in order to believe they do, is sickening.  One can only serve one master.

The United States was founded as a safe haven for all those to escape persecution and oppressive rule by a singular dictator.  It is a country where everyone is free to think, believe and practice their way of life.  Their faith.  Regardless of race, color, creed, all are welcome to live free of fear here.  It’s what makes this country great.  We can speak our minds regardless if it contradicts our government leaders.

People do not get arrested in the middle of the night by the Gestapo and thrown in a black hole to never be seen again. We are making strides in the gay community as well. While I do believe they should have the right of choice, to marriage, adopt, live together, and have intimate relations like everyone else.  But America is still a Christian nation.  What you do in private is your business, but in public discretion and restraint needs to be applied.  Gays have taken their civil rights movement a little too far.

Parents have forgotten to be parents.  It’s your job to protect your children’s right to be children.  A 7 year old is not far enough developed to have the mental faculties to decide to change their sex.  God does not mistakes, We as humans make enough of them for him by altering the natural way of things.  Parents put your daughters on some form of birth control that they do not have to be responsible for taking a daily pill the day they start their first menstrual.  Stop turning a blind eye to the fact they are going to have sexual relations before marriage.  No child should be placed in a situation where they are pregnant and have to chose between abortion, adoption, or keeping the child.  It’s a no win situation where there is no right answer.  Every solution is awful.  Protect your daughters from being in this predicament by putting her on birth control until the age of 18.  There are far too many options available not to.  Give your daughters a chance to be children, develop, fulfill their potential.  Clear their way of the obstacles you can.  There are enough in their way already that you cannot circumvent.

People wonder how a teenage girl can throw a baby in a dumpster.  Imagine being a child yourself and suddenly you have a child’s life you are responsible for.  You have no resources to care for it.  You cannot take care of yourself.  The girl has no family support.  She i s scared.  The baby will not stop crying and she does not know what to do to make it stop.  The gravity of her situation became all too real.  So what does she do like every other teenager in the world would under similar circumstances?  She gets rid of the evidence and hope mom and dad do not find the broken china pieces in the trash can.

I am in no way saying it is right.  I am simply offering an explanation and insight on how it happens.  How can you expect a child to care for a child?  The teenage mother is the life we should concerned with protecting, rather than destroying.  Imprisonment of the teenage mom is not the solution in this circumstance.

If parents were held more accountable for their children’s actions.  Then maybe parents would concern themselves more with being parents.  Fear of imprisonment is a stronger motivator than simply having your children taken away.  Why should these people retain their right to have off spring they cannot take care of?  In certain circumstances a persons right to procreate should be permanently revoked through sterilization.  That sounds harsh, but it is better than the alternative life the child is facing in the situation.  The earth is already over populated.  If we do not do something to stop multiplying exponentially like parasites then we are jeopardizing the future of our existence.

Reality is being a parent is not something every one should be.  It is a great responsibility that should be taken much more seriously.  The government needs to stop providing any incentives for having them like a baby factory.  If you cannot afford the financial responsibility, then  there are adoption services available to rehome the child into better circumstances as an alternative to welfare system.  At the end of the day, one is entitled to nothing.  There should be no incentive for being so irresponsible.

Which by the way Mr. President, this action to reduce benefits for having excess children contradicts your anti abortion stance.  If you do not want to assist with the expense of taking care of the child after it’s born, then why make birth control services more difficult for a woman to obtain by defunding Planned parenthood?  It would be far more prudent to subsidize their institution to prevent pregnancy in the first place.  We are the only species in the animal kingdom who does not retain the right to kill our offspring if something is wrong with them.  The fact we allow the weak to survive and procreate is why we are becoming weaker as a whole.

Children are the future, which I fear is in grave jeopardy the way we have allowed society to degrade in regards to the care of children.  A parent is responsible for teaching them.  The fact a parent cannot smack their child to discipline them when necessary without being accused of child abuse is insane.  There is a difference between one hard slap across the face and breaking bones or leaving scars and welts.  Corporal punishment without leaving marks even in schools should be allowed.  We have gotten far too lackisdasical with this generation of children.  They are the child, we are the adults.  We are not supposed to be their friends.  Quick swift punishments are much more effective than imprisoning a child in their room for weeks or months.  By the time they served their sentence they forgot what they did wrong.

In close, anything worth having in life is never easy.  It only takes one person to start a movement.  Popular thought is not always right.  The world was flat swore the majority, to only discover the world was round indeed.  If President Trump does not detonate world war 3 by his reckless tactics and brash actions, then he may be able to make this country a little better.  Manage your expectations.  He is not the Messiah.  He is human and fallible.

Despite his short comings and the fact he is a male chauvinist, I look forward to seeing what changes President will be able to bring to make this country a little better.  He is not going to be able to solve everything.  He may not put a dent in it.  If he can create a scratch resolving the issues that matter to the average American in the next 4 years, then he will be reelected in 4 years.  Sorry to break it to you Capital Hill.  We the people spoke, and America took a gamble electing him to the highest office in the land.  Let’s see if we chose right or if rolled snake eyes.  It’s the beauty in the gift of freedom we fought so hard for that we take for granted today.  We are entitled to nothing but the right to liberty, life and the pursuit of happiness and retain the right to fight to maintain that.  We are Americans. It is what we do.  God bless the United States.

[unsubstantiatedopinion]

Thinking about when I got my IUD. On the information trail of something else, saw a Quiz on a teen health site of which birth control is for you.

I had to work to get the answer I actually Use. Mind, the major change was "I am willing to go to a doc" and then it followed with the legit "I'm cool w my period getting heavier".

Mine started, and has settled back into being fairly light flow, long lasting, and like one day of cramps that are pretty easily managed.

But this quiz when I answers everything else,(thr first time, no clinic) offered me the Sponge on my list. Like yeah yeah condoms at the top of the list.

In 2016 on campus they were stocking both in the dorm bathrooms, external were more popular by a lot. But if you looked up success rates on Planned Parenthood, external had a higher efficacy rating. I figured that it was probably user error, but like, What? Then at a student health fair, I did ask the people at a sexual health table if they knew this, and if they knew why and they didn't. Though they also thought it was probably a familiarity w the device thing.

My sex Ed classes in 8th grade and HS did have us learn how to put a condom on a penis. (My 8th grade was taught by a lesbian and some outside person was brought in for part as well, but we did learn how to make a dam out of a condom as well. Didn't realize that was unusual knowledge.)

On the one hand, the external condom is the one birth control where the expectation is on the man to be dealing with it. And it has the wonderful qualities of being a in the moment sort of thing, very sweeping passionate much flirty. (And while *I* have never successfully done a seductive foreplay with a condom, there's some solid visual potential there.) And it is effective, one of the few things that is both birth control and STI control.

All that is wonderful.

The internal condom, by contrast, is a newer thing. So it hasn't come into the visual lexicon of "seeing this in the bedroom is normal". And tbh, popping it into place is harder to make into a teasing sensous thing. But i think there's more to it than that.

Unlike the other internal birth control methods. Even than the ring or what are some of those retro ones, sponge or diagphram. Once they are in place, they aren't Seen.

Most of the objects that are placed internally have a reputation of being for wives. Partially bc they are less effective(and the stakes of a pregnancy for a married woman are lower.) partially I think bc they are seen to 'break the mood', which you can get away with when you've seen intimately into the other's life, but when you are still in the dating sexy mystique phase culturally you aren't 'supposed to" do.

Which is also Bad.

If you do not feel like you could say to the other person, hey, can we pause or stop this? Don't fuck them.

But the modern methods of birth control, are mainly chemical (and not good vs STI) but their burden is entirely in the woman. Financially, emotionally, physically.

The optimistic version is that, this is women taking control of their bodies and lives.

But, 1. At what cost? And

2. So invisibly.

The unpopularity of the internal condom to me seems like a stroking of a man's ego. And falling into old hetero scripts.

Which is why I am using man and woman mainly here. Lesbians have less use for condoms generally (toys are washable, and gloves are better for hands). The accessabiltiy and flexibility of external condoms, makes them prefered for gay men. Sure the inner ring of an internal condom can be removed for anal sex, butt that is only one of many sex acts avalible to men outside of fanfiction.

But the Straight(tm) script has man pursue woman be innocent. And if she's not innocent, play innocent; otherwise this isn't a date on the good girls path to wedding. Basically if the woman is shown to be experienced it is mark against her, or specifically for the man's enjoyment. (See history of sex work, succubi as a concept, kink, and/or MILFs).

The pill, and even nexplenon or and IUD, are hidden. Sure they are pre-planned taking ones own reigns, but they aren't visible where the action is. (And the pill is way more popular anyhow, and has plausible deniability-its not cause I'm a slut it's for my cramps. Which is a legit use, but is not the Only reason it should be allowed). They also have that 'ready and avalible at any time' quality. Which, could be - unkindly- seen as making The Sex ready for the picking at any time.

By contrast, the internal condom can be a statment, it's a statment that at some point the woman said to herself, "I plan on getting Laid tonight". Probably when getting dressed and choosing a matching set of underwear. But unlike coordinated sets, its something that really is for her, and her protection. (Yes it's possible she is carrying an infection and doesn't want to pass it along.)

It's incredibly loud and enthusiastic consent.

Which, is not the Straight(tm) prefered narritive.

Obviously, it is the Best version of events. But consent is a whole other post.

The main reason I don't go for it myself, besides Covid, is the they are harder to find, more expensive and so it feels more like a waste of money if you don't fuck. And I haven't gone on many dinner dates that might lead to a rendezvous. And wouldn't want that nagging push. (on the other hand, totally see how this pressure is bad on men in Straight(tm) narritive. There lots of transaction happening in any relationship and we really don't think actively enough about it's influence as a culture).

In personal experience, the #1 reason I didn't want hormonal birth control was lack of research on its physical effects beyond not getting knocked up. The "it's not unusual for this to increase depression but also we are just now half a century later actually looking into this". Plus personally the arm stick was a bad fit with my dislike of needles and my need to pick at things. And there was no time of day in college where I would be able to reliably choose to take a pill. Probably 11am but then I'd need to remember to pack it with me and just, I wasn't here for that life.

Which is where we get to the IUD.

The scene, 2016. The context, I had had a condom break (intercrural, which I STRONGLY recommend) but it freaked the fellow out a bit. (He did not suggest an iud, and tbh I don't think I involved him in the decision at all. ) The other context was the 2016 election. And frankly, the Fear that was being drummed up. Not unwarranted, but, there was a spike in IUDs at that time bc people were worried about loosing access to other forms of birth control. And I doubt I was alone in worrying about loosing options in the event of a rape.

I am against abortion as a method of bieth control. But I think the way to not have abortions, is prevention. Abortions that remove a dead fetus or a dieing fetus that are protecting the mother, aren't birth control, that's sepsis management and tragic. Abortions that are only for the girl babies, are birth control and tbh the way to cut down on that animation is cultural change. It's my opinion that if a woman is going in for an abortion, something has Failed Her.

But, I was at a point where my getting pregnant would be really bad. My mental health was in a sketchy place. I was in school. And frankly not terribly employable since a science degree at a bachelor's is still all grunt work.

I looked into what options were avalible. I researched. My mother had, at some point offered to assist in getting a prescription for the pill, framed in the cramps story. Which for my sister IS why she's on it. I lucked out on not having a Catastrophe of a uterus. (Hyperbole but still).

I remember the process of going in.

I remember being Angry that in the pre-appoinment I was told that the policy was you need to get a pregnancy test up to like 2 days before or so. And I set it up so that I have a block to squeeze in this extra appointment on like the day before. I look up what to do before hand, PP recommend taking a painkiller before showing up so it has time to kick in.

I do all the steps. I go in alone. For myself, I don't want non-experts besides me involved. These are things between me, a doctor, and god and/or my/a/my understanding of amoral system.

The secretary was friendly and like, yeah Doc is doing a lot of these. Reassuring. They didn't give me any preprocedure instructions besides this test (and it was also a STI test I don't remember if that was required or I was like heck if I'm here might as well).

But the appointment happens and three plot twists. 1. They've got a better painkiller and would have preferred I hadn't taken an over the counter before. But it all worked out. And frankly the insertion was absolutely fine. Like yeah little pinch but as u recall it it was more like if you pinched a like big chunk of thigh than like finger in a door.

2. There was a med student/intern/person. I was asked if she could be in the room. Not shocking, University hospital is a teaching hospital and I'm totally chill with being a model. She seemed uncomfortable, wanted to go into pediatrics so not really relevant to her I think. Nothing hands on.

3. The thing that made me mad was that I had to take an additional pregnancy test before she would do the procedure. I took the previous test when the intake had suggested. At the same hospital. So it's all their records. And I hadn't had sex in the interim and even if I had, nothing would have had time to implant. Plus, while I recognize that technically IUD can in a few cases be an aborting procedure, by getting a copper iud, I was saying I plan on not having kids for up to the next 10 years. Thinking back on it, maaaaaayyyyybe maybe a test might have seen a pregnancy that might have been floating around to go etopic and all. But no, this felt controlling and paternalistic.

I didn't have a strategy for dealing with it. For demanding and asserting that I just did this. I did say it once, but that wasn't listened to.

And I know that this isn't an unusual or even particularly egregious example. But still.

After was lots of bleeding. I think I basically bled in some capacity for a month or two. Was on painkillers for long enough that i did get some like stomach pain or maybe just worried docs I don't remember except being told to switch to acetominiphine which I don't think works as well for me but resolved whatever the issue was. And I'm a pads person and did get a bit chapped.

After that resolved. I did have one terrifying Surprise Heavy period like a few months later. I bled through a pad. There was crying in the CVS bc there wasn't a absorbtion conversion between tampons and pads and this was all new and scary.

The next month leveled out. Though things were still heavier than pre-iud or now. But not terrible. And I've seen worse. I couldnt use my mom's strategy of the diva cup, which she got on early I think bc it's Wonderful for HEAVY flow. But between never having had success w a tampon and the potential suction removing the thing and ripping out an IUD. Not worth it.

But for the most part it settled out.

But I still think about it.

The good thing was the RELIEF of the Safety of not having to worry about ending up pregnant. Sure STIs are a risk. But back-alley or date rape transference is likely either way and at least I only have to deal with one issue instead if the moralized one. And in chosen partners, frankly they were either rather virginal. Or Defs gonna use a condom. Like, the bf in the IUD times, we still used a condom each time. (I don't know that he's done it, but he had also apperently been planning on getting a vasectomy asap, since like highschool.) The 'i never want kids' was one of the reasons we stopped dating. There were a few other reasons but like they all boiled down to 'want differnt things from the Future' which is why we are friends still.

But things will come up, and I'll remember, I've got a chunk of copper in me.

That knowledge weighs in my consideration of sense of self, and self identity. It feels representative, and significant.

I don't check for the strings as often as I should, and I think they've mostly stayed out of the way.

But this is a significant thing to me.

And a thing that I keep to myself a lot.

But I do Want to talk about it, because it is so Significant.

[mattprivettwrites]

The indispensable doctrine

Author’s Note: This post was originally written on January 15, 2015, and posted at my original web site, The MATTrix. As I transition away from that web site, I’m re-posting some things here along the way.

___________________________________________

Outside of the church, Muslims are killing people, American taxpayers are giving over a half-billion dollars a year to Planned Parenthood so they can murder babies, and judges nationwide are giving a middle finger to God and Christians by forcing “same-sex marriage” down our throats, and there is so much more I could say.

Inside of the (professing) church, Joel Osteen still has clean teeth and is making his millions peddling fortune cookie wisdom, Christian bookstores are bowing the knee to the dollar by peddling his heresy and the unbiblical and antibiblical teachers of others, the largest Southern Baptist Church in the world is led by a man who has redefined the Ten Commandments as promises, and oh, there is here also so much more I could say.

Why is all of this happening? Why are there so many problems both inside and outside of churches? Why is the world the way it is?

The easy answer, of course, is sin. And it’s the correct answer, too. Rebellion against God. A dissatisfaction with His provision and His command and a lust for the idol of self, the idol of more, the idol of my way.

But let’s dig a little deeper. Where does sin come from? Well, not so ironically, the same place we find out what sin is.

The first sin of man, resulting in the fall of man, occurred in the Garden of Eden. You know the story, but you should read it again anyway to be reminded. God told Adam, He “commanded the man, saying, ‘From any tree of the garden you may eat freely, but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die'” (Gen 2:16-17, emphasis mine).

So God spoke.

Then this happened: “[The serpent] said to the woman, ‘Indeed, has God said, “You shall not eat from any tree in the garden”?’ The woman said to the serpent, ‘From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, “You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.”‘ The serpent said to the woman, ‘You surely will not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.’ When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate” (Gen 3:1b-6).

God spoke. And man disobeyed.

Man wanted more. Man departed from the word of God. Man wasn’t satisfied with what God had said, so man did what he wanted to do. As a result, hell broke loose on earth.

If only we would learn.

We are all, because of what happened in Eden, born sinners who sin. We are all born dead — spiritually dead, that is. Conceived in iniquity (Ps 51:5). Dead in our trespasses and sins, sons of disobedience, children of wrath (Eph 2:1-3). Our hearts are all, by nature, more deceitful than all else and desperately wicked (Jer 17:9). We are sinners who sin.

We are sinners who do the exact thing Adam did in Eden. God has spoken, but so what!

All sin is, at its core, an abandonment, an ignorance, a rejection, a rebellion, a refusal, an abdication, an amendment to, a dissatisfaction with… the word of God. God has spoken, and we say “So what!” or “And…” or “But!”

That is why [the introduction is over now] of all the doctrines Christians must believe and need to believe and should believe, sola scriptura is the indispensable doctrine.

Sola scriptura, you might know, is Latin for scripture alone. It originated out of the Protestant Reformation, along with faith alone, grace alone, Christ alone, and to the glory of God alone as the pillars of a defection away from the bastardization of the church by Rome, who taught that while God’s word might be authoritative, so was the word of man as decreed through Popes and Church Councils.

Martin Luther was the gasoline poured upon already simmering embers of discontent with the Roman Catholic Church when, on October 31, 1517, he nailed his 95 Theses of protest on the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg, hoping for the reformation of Rome. When the powers that be would have none of it, the only choice Luther and any true Christian had was to wipe the dust off their feet and depart. As a result Luther was pursued, both by those who wanted to hear more from him and by those who wanted to shut him up by whatever means necessary.

A fateful day came at the Diet of Worms in 1521, presided over by Charles V, the Holy Roman Emperor. Luther was asked if he recanted his writings, which castigated Rome and affirmed, by and large, what those still protesting Rome continue to affirm as biblical truth. Luther responded with famous words,

Unless I am convinced by the testimony of the Scriptures or by clear reason (for I do not trust either in the pope or in councils alone, since it is well known that they have often erred and contradicted themselves), I am bound by the Scriptures I have quoted and my conscience is captive to the Word of God. I cannot and will not recant anything, since it is neither safe nor right to go against conscience. May God help me. Amen. (emphasis mine)

The world, represented by the Roman Catholic Church in that room, rejected Luther. And the world still does. Hence Muslims killing people, abortions costing $400 while adoptions cost $40,000, and the like.

But tragically, and more and more, the professing church seems to be turning its back on Luther — at least his words at Worms — and thus, turning its back on the word of God.

Sola scriptura is the indispensable doctrine, because when you try to add anything to or subtract anything from the word of God — contained in the sixty-six books of the Old and New Testaments — you are following in the footsteps of the first man and first woman.

Today many professing Christians are not really Christians at all, because they’ve been convinced they’re safe by pastors and teachers who derive their authority not from the word of God, but by whatever works.

Today many professing Christians are in grave danger because they trust Christian bookstores to sell books and other materials that are in line with and help explain the word of God. Meanwhile, they are buying books which claim to speak for God instead.

Today many professing Christians will do anything and everything to feel spiritual or be inspired or feel holy or that they are hearing from God — except read their Bible.

Sola scriptura is the indispensable doctrine. It’s the most foundational thing to understand. We have to know it and believe it and acknowledge it, because everything else we believe come from it… the word of God… the Bible. The Bible has to be that important. If it’s not we start believing the wrong things, doing the wrong things, and setting ourselves up for shipwreck.

As I understand the Bible, there are four things about the Bible we all need to know.

The inspiration of Scripture (the one the scholar rejects)

The Bible is inspired by God. Let me repeat that. It is inspired by God. In 2 Timothy 3:16-17 we read that “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God might be adequate, equipped for every good work.” That word for inspired (the Greek theopnuestos) literally means breathed out. These verses are telling us the words of Scripture are breathed out of God’s mouth, so to speak. They are from Him. The Bible in inspired by God and it teaches us, it reproves us (that means it tells us when we’re wrong), it corrects us (teaching us how to be right), and it trains us for righteousness (so that we won’t be wrong next time). That’s what the Bible does, and that’s because God is righteous and the Bible, the Scriptures, are His word.

Or how about 2 Peter 1:20-21? “No prophecy of Scripture is a matter of one’s own interpretation, for no prophecy was ever made by an act of human will, but men moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God.” The Bible wasn’t just written by men. The Holy Spirit gave them the words. The Bible is inspired, breathed out, by God.

The inerrancy of Scripture (the one the skeptic rejects)

The Bible is inerrant. Meaning without error, completely truthful and completely trustworthy.

If we believe the Bible, as it was inspired by God, has any errors, then what does that say about God? It would mean we don’t believe God is completely truthful. It would mean we don’t believe He is powerful enough to give us His word so that, now thousands of years after He gave it to us, we can still trust it. What does that Bible say about itself?

How about Psalm 119:89? “Forever, O LORD, Your word is settled in heaven.” Paul is talking about the Scriptures in 1 Corinthians 2:12-13 when he writes, “Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God, which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining spiritual thoughts with spiritual words.” What that is saying is that God has given us His word in a way that we can know it, and we can’t know it if there are errors.

Now I know that one of the favorite hobbies of some is to say, “The Bible is full of contradictions.” To which I say, “First of all, show me and let’s talk about these so-called contradictions. Second of all, you’re wrong. And through diligent reading and studying of God’s word I’ll show you you’re wrong.”

God is truth. Jesus said He is the truth. His Spirit is the Spirit of truth. And as Jesus said in John 17:17, the word of God is truth, by which we are sanctified (made holy). The Bible is inerrant.

The authority of Scripture (the one the sinner rejects)

The Bible is authoritative. We all have authorities. For students, teachers and school administrators are their authority. For children, fathers and mothers are their authority. For citizens (and I suppose even illegal aliens), the officials we elect to government offices and law enforcement are authorities.

But ultimately God is the One in charge. God is our King. Jesus is our King… But Jesus isn’t on the earth reigning as King right now, is He? So how do we know what He, our authority, wants of us? He has given us His word, the Scriptures, which in Psalm 19 is referred to as the law of the LORD, the commandments of the LORD, and the judgments of the LORD.

What does it say about what we think of God if we believe His word to be inspired and inerrant, and yet we reject it as authoritative? It means we are rejecting God as our King, much the same way the Israelites did in 1 Samuel 8. Do you remember what happened to them? God gave them Saul, who was an epic failure. And Israel’s history would be one of many kings who did not consider God’s word authoritative, and brought disaster upon themselves and the people.

The Bible is authoritative. Not you. Not what you want. The Bible is authoritative, which is why Jesus repeatedly taught by telling people, “It is written…” Paul quoted the Old Testament. Peter did, too.

Many people can write things about God. We can have confessions and statements of faith, catechisms… but ultimately all of them have to be in line with what the Bible says, because the Bible, the word of God, is the only word that is authoritative. God is in charge through His word.

The sufficiency of Scripture (the one the professing Christian rejects)

The Bible is sufficient. Sufficient. Sufficient. Sufficient. What that means is that what God has given us in the Bible is enough. It’s enough.

If our Christian bookstores had nothing but the Bible in them that would be enough. The word of God is enough.

We don’t have to go looking for more from God, like signs and wonders and prophecies or visions or voices in our head or devotional books that claim to be what Jesus told somebody, because what God has given us in the Bible is enough.

The Bible tells us all we need to know about creation, all we need to know about the commandments, all we need to know about our own sin, all we need to know about our one and only Savior, Jesus. Read again toPsalm 19:7-9: “The law of the LORD is perfect, restoring the soul; The testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple. The precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; The commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes. The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever; The judgments of the LORD are true; they are righteous altogether.” God tells us… the Bible is enough.

Jesus Himself said, to Satan no less, “Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God” (Matt 4:4). He was quoting Deuteronomy 6, by the way.

A lot of people have a lot of ideas about how Christians should be, how families should be, how churches should be. But what matters is God’s word. Is what you believe what the Bible says, or do you rely on the Bible plus something else? Or do you maybe conveniently edit out in your practice parts of the Bible you don’t like quite as much. The Bible is sufficient. The Bible is enough. God has spoken. His word is what we need.(1)

Sola scriptura, of all the five solas, really was the foundation of the Protestant Reformation. By going back to the word of God — affirming that the Bible is God’s word (inspired), that it (unlike the opinions of men) is without error, that it is authoritative, and it is sufficient — Christians left the Roman Catholic Church, and now here we are today.

Then again, where are we today?

Rome certainly hasn’t repented, and yet Protestantism’s protests are decreasing, the willful ignorance of professing Christians is increasing, and many are shaking hands with a spiritual harlot, the one the Reformers called “antichrist.” Where is sola Scriptura?

It’s from the Scriptures we realize that the most important thing, period, is the glory of God, so we do all things to the glory of God alone (soli Deo gloria). It’s from the Scriptures we realize we are saved by Christ alone — His perfect life without sin and His death on the cross where He bore our sins, and His resurrection by which we are given eternal life (solus Christus). We’ll talk later on this semester about sola gratia, grace alone. Unlike what the Catholic Church teaches, Christians are saved by grace alone — God giving us what we do not deserve. We learn that from the Scriptures. And also sola fide, faith alone. We are saved by faith in Jesus Christ, not in the things we do, but by believing in Jesus and what He has done. It’s only through the Bible we learn this.

That’s why sola Scriptura is the indispensable doctrine. No matter how many times and how many different ways I repeat it in this post, I cannot tell you how important it is to realize how important the Bible is. It’s inspired by God. I’m not, but the Bible is. It’s inerrant. I’m not perfect, but the Bible is. It’s authoritative. I’m not in charge, but God is, and I find out what God wants from the Bible. And it’s sufficient. I’m not enough, but God is, and He gives me all I need to know in His word, the Bible, the Scriptures.

Sola scriptura. It is the indispensable doctrine. We can’t do without it. When we treat the Bible correctly, everything else we must believe will come.

Father, may Your church repent where it has decided Your word is not enough, and turn back to the Bible. Your word is truth. May we be sanctified by Your truth. May sinners hear Your truth and be made alive by the Holy Spirit. And may Your Son Jesus Christ be glorified as a result. Amen.

———-

(1) Let me be clear that my belief in the sufficiency of Scripture is not my way of saying we shouldn’t read Christian books and stuff like that. I’m not that guy. But I will say that our acceptance or rejection of any “Christian book and stuff like that” should be predicated upon a bedrock commitment to the sufficiency of Scripture. If what we read does not meet that standard, it should be discarded with yesterday’s trash.

[sexhealtheduuncg]

Anjali Valentine, CA

1) I'm probably in the anomaly when I say this, but my healthcare experience has been quite positive, actually as someone who's LGBT-identifying. (I'm bisexual). I didn't really come out (I don't count being outed) until I was 17-18 years old, and I didn't publicly come out (on social media) until I was about 19. When I first started realizing I was bisexual, I was in a relationship with a guy, so it never really occurred to me that my healthcare might be differently impacted by being bi. When I was single and in LA, (and I hope this comes off right through text) I'd say I was open to the possibility of sexual experimentation with girls and definitely was attracted to some, but got really turned off towards the idea because I was constantly being pressured by male partners to be with girls for their pleasure. That said, I had an amazing doctor at UCLA (also an OB-GYN) who was really well versed and non-judgmental about having LGBT patients. I told her I was bisexual and she instantly told me about how most STI tests were very geared around assuming patients were sexually active with the opposite sex, and that she could order panels for certain STI's that were often overlooked for people attracted to the same sex. HIV testing was part of the STI test panel regardless, but you didn't get tested for things like trichomoniasis. UCLA also had an LGBT resource center that was fantastic, especially with offering meetings and events to discuss queer sex education. They offered dental dams, female condoms, regular condoms, and pamphlets on resources available for queer issues (even ones not related to sex education). I would definitely have to say that I was the most comfortable in my sexuality while living in Los Angeles in just about every facet - I could be open about it with my professors, peers, healthcare providers (including my therapist), the campus assault advocates, and so on. 2) The healthcare system needs to be reformed in more ways than just the medical field. It needs to be an all around effort to raise awareness about LGBTQIA+ identifying people and it also needs to have separation of church and state. Right now, tons of states still fund abstinence-only sex education because of a heavily influenced Christian agenda about premarital sex being a sin and whatnot. If we can't even discuss contraception/protection for heterosexual people, then there's no chance we can even begin to discuss what it means to have a healthy sex life as a queer-identifying person. Sex education is simply not current anymore, either. Right now, we're at the lowest birth rate we've had possibly ever because most millennials are deciding not to have children for a multitude of reasons. Sex education is still heavily centered around preventing an unplanned pregnancy (the agenda to end teen pregnancy was really big when I was growing up with shows like Secret Life of the American Teenager) but not nearly enough focus is given to preventing STI's (unless you want to show graphic pictures of what STI's look like as a scare tactic to young, impressionable adolescents). Most kids learned about sex because of scare tactics in their sex education classes, not because of a healthy and open conversation to answer any questions they might have. On that note about STI's, most people I know still never get tested because of the stigma surrounding having an STI in general. (The other common barrier is financial limitations, which I will address later on). It's also worth mentioning that in many areas, it's still an option for parents to opt their kids out of taking sex education to begin with because they think the information will make their kids more interested in sex (god forbid) or that it's evil in some way. I also think that gym teachers shouldn't be the ones to teach sex ed classes, it should be people actually educated beyond basics (such as Planned Parenthood staff). I think the majority of the issues surrounding LGBT healthcare have to do with ignorance of LGBT people in general. The movie Philadelphia, with Tom Hanks and Denzel Washington illustrates this beautifully because it came out during the height of the AIDS epidemic and shows attitudes towards people afflicted with AIDS - even highlighting the social death AIDS-afflicted people often face because of misinformation about the disease. If you check out a documentary called United in Anger, it's about a group that formed in New York City called Act Up (AIDS Coalition To Unleash Power) to raise awareness about people with AIDS (this is also the group that went to the White House lawn and scattered loved ones ashes who had died from AIDS as a message to former President Reagan for never addressing AIDS once in his presidency). One of the biggest barriers to tackling LGBT related healthcare issues is the lack of accessibility to drugs to treat HIV, one being AZT and a new one called PrEP+ that just came out. (AZT helps prolong the lives of people already afflicted with HIV so it doesn't progress to AIDS, and PrEP+ is a drug to protect people more vulnerable to being given HIV from someone else to help their body develop immunity). Most people afflicted with the illness are already marginalized in so many ways that being able to afford a potentially life-saving drug is simply not possible. This is also reflective of a larger issue within American healthcare, which is the constant refusal from our government to implement universal healthcare. 3) I'd say I'm pretty satisfied with the level of care I get, but that said, I also know I speak from a position of privilege by having access to quality health insurance and an amazing doctor who works at an LGBT-friendly clinic here in Salt Lake City. I'm also in a relationship with a man, as opposed to someone female or non-binary, which often doesn't make my sexuality obvious to people.    4) I really don't think most medical professionals are educated on LGBTQIA+ related issues. This is also pretty reflective of a lot of larger issues within medicine, such as how most doctors appointments are done on a time crunch, which doesn't allow for much trust to be built with a patient. There's also so much to tackle within intersectional identities in patients, such as racism, sexism, sexual orientation, and so on. A lot of beliefs are still pretty heavily ingrained such as POC having a higher pain tolerance, women often being written off as hysterical or overdramatic when they talk about pain, and so on. It also doesn't help that medicine is still such a white male dominant field, and I've had friends from more marginalized populations who try to be a change in the system only to be bullied out of their pre-med classes, or face discrimination from professors, and so on. 5) I don't have any other thoughts for now, but I'm def gonna send more your way if they come up! I could honestly talk about this forever because of all the intricacies and nuances that accompany any kind of marginalized identity, but I don't think they'd make a whole lot of sense in an email. Name: Anjali Valentine Pronouns: She/Her/Hers Something unique about me: I love to dance and perform! I take voice lessons and train in urban and hip hop, jazz, tap, heels/burlesque, and a little bit of ballet. I want to be in the entertainment industry as either a cast member for Saturday Night Live, or on Broadway (or some kind of theatrical equivalent in another city). I also love to do photography! 

[devinsena]

The Effect Of Pornography On Families

“There is no dignity when the human dimension is eliminated from the person. In short, the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of the person, but that it shows far too little.” ― Pope John Paul II

Pornography 101

Pornography is a phenomenon not many people are talking about, despite the epidemic running wild within the lives of our young men and women. The truth is, the majority of young people watch porn, yet few of us talk about it. Porn exists in a parallel universe, a shadowy otherworld. When anything is forced into the shadows and underground, it becomes much easier for bad things to happen, and much harder for good things to happen. The statistics within the shadow of pornography are shocking. If we take time to let them soak in, it becomes more and more clear relationships are in desperate need of saving.

Pornography is easy, accessible, impersonal, and “safe” because there is no vulnerability, love,  or fear of getting hurt. However, pornography is responsible for diminishing real romantic relationships. It is no secret pornography is responsible for wrecking marriages and families, but the saddest part is if we decide not to give pornography power, it would have none. Pornography is in such vast supply because we demand it so much. A heart change is needed to tackle this epidemic. At the root of the pornography problem lies a tragic misunderstanding of who we were created to be and what relationships are supposed to be.

Pornography is defined as: “printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic feelings.” You may be sitting reading this thinking... “This problem doesn’t apply to me” or “this lady is wack, there’s nothing wrong with looking at porn… everyone does it!” or “Crap. Here we go, talking about one of my deepest struggles that nobody knows about.”

If you think that porn is not a problem, the facts say differently. Research shows that pornography consumption is linked to unstable relationships, increased risk of infidelity, and greater likelihood of divorce. While this applies to men and women, studies have found that men who are exposed to porn find their partner less sexually attractive and rate themselves as less in love with their partner. A recent study* tracked couples over a six year period from 2006 to 2012 to see what factors influenced the quality of their marriage and their satisfaction with their sex lives. The researchers found of all the factors considered, porn use was the second strongest indicator that marriage would suffer.

Pornography is much more common than we think it is. It is everywhere, and many times it pops up when you least expect it. Most TV shows have at least some type of pornographic content, and many have scenes that full-on classify as pornography. The average age during which a person encounters a pornographic image is age 11 — basically as a child — and recent reports are stating that age may be dropping to eight years old.Statistically and scientifically, pornography is very different than what you have been told. I get a clear picture of this when I go into high schools to teach sexual education in health classes (dream job, am I right?). It is in that space where I see what the majority of teenagers believe about their sexuality and their relationships. When it comes to pornography, here is a snapshot of what we are up against:

12% of websites on the internet are pornographic – that’s 24,644,172 sites.

1 in 3 porn viewers are women. It’s not just a male problem.

Porn sites receive more regular traffic than Netflix, Amazon, and Twitter combined each month.

Watching porn diminishes relationship commitment. Porn increased marital infidelity by 300%. A few studies reported in Psychology Today show that people who watched porn were more likely to engage in flirting (and more) outside their relationships and were more likely to cheat and hook-up.

50% of all adults do not think porn is wrong – and most teenagers are encouraging, neutral, or indifferent about opinions of pornography. They say it’s “not a big deal.”

Porn is a $97 billion-dollar industry worldwide - $12 billion-dollar industry in the US. That’s larger than all the combined revenues of all professional football, baseball, and basketball franchises AND more than CBS, NBC, and ABC combined.

A pastor in Cincinnati, Ohio polled all the 7th graders in his church and 100% of those 11-year-old’s admitted to having exposure to pornography.

50% of Christian men are addicted to pornography, despite knowing and believing that it is dehumanizing.

In summary: porn is running rampant in our society. If you want to get it, you could get it anytime, anywhere.  

The Impact of Pornography on Men

Habitual porn consumption causes significant loneliness and depression in men. A male with a porn habit starts to withdraw emotionally from the people around him, especially with a real-life romantic partner. Because porn does not explore ideas like the emotional give and take of love, men can also put up barriers with a partner because they feel unsure of how to connect. A sense of self-loathing, shame, and embarrassment develops. Because of the solitary online nature of porn, a male can hide it, and this pattern of self-concealment —  repeatedly doing something he is ashamed of but hiding it from friends and family —  fosters deep isolation in him. Christian men especially have a hard time talking about this problem with other Christian men, even if they are in an accountability partnership with them and trust their judgment. Pornography is extremely shameful to men who do not want anything to do with it, yet seem to be shackled to it.

Fight the New Drug is a movement dedicated to raising awareness of the pornography epidemic.

They focus on three categories of human and cultural development pornography effects:

Porn affects the brain - porn use is related to increased anxiety, depression, stress, and social problems.

Porn affects your relationships - porn use has been found to influence some users’ sexual preferences, leaving them wanting what they’ve seen on screen and significantly less satisfied with sex in real life.

Porn affects the world - among the effects of the use of pornography are an increased negative attitude toward women, decreased empathy for victims of sexual violence and an increase in  sexually imposing behavior.

Like most addictions, pornography is not an act that just affects the person who is addicted. That person’s relationships and the world around us are being shaped by pornography - and instead of talking about it and learning how we can fix it before the damage is done, we are ignoring the problem completely and refusing to even call it a problem.

The Department of Justice and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children both recognize that pornography is an element which adds to the serious problem of sex trafficking — an act that demeans human life to its core. Among the effects of the use of pornography are “an increased negative attitude toward women, decreased empathy for victims of sexual violence, and an increase in dominating sexually imposing behavior” (“Fight The New Drug”). If we look at reports of Planned Parenthood covering up sexual abuse and child trafficking, we see that the connection between demeaning human life and a poor outlook of sex/relationships/personhood is clearly linked.

Pornography addiction is a slippery slope; at first, it does not seem like a big deal to just pull up something on your phone with a group of friends because you are curious. Then, though, you probably will find yourself lying in bed at night when nobody knows what you are doing, and you convince yourself that one time will not hurt. Before you know it, it is an everyday thing. You plan your life around when you can disappear for 20 minutes and have a sexual release. It is a slippery slope into addiction, but that is exactly what pornography is.

The sad reality is that I have talked to so many men and women who are convinced that pornography will go away once they get married. Unfortunately, that is not how it works. Your pornography addiction will not just disappear just because you get married and you are having sex with your husband or wife. Think about it, no human will ever be able to love you perfectly. No matter how great they are or how in love with them you are, there will be times when they fail. When that happens, when you do not feel loved or treated well by your husband or wife, you will run to pornography out of habit.

Why? Because through research, scientists have proven that pornography affects the brain in the same way drugs do. Watching porn literally will neurologically rewire your brain. Pornography has a profound impact from the first time it is viewed, and eventually it causes a build up a tolerance to the graphic material being watched, developing into a craving for more and more graphic types of pornography. Users also become desensitized to real sex. After a while, all sex is interpreted as porn and for a man, all women as porn stars, not as people created by God in his image. The more someone uses this pathway, the more intense their longing for it will be. After a while, they will long for more frequent and higher levels of stimulation. Consistent and reliable evidence shows exposure to pornography is related to male sexual aggression against women.

The Impact of Pornography on Women

Women who view porn have similar pathways form in their brain; they will begin to accept that they are just objects to be used for sexual objectification and devalue themselves to fit the image of female porn stars.

Another important point is that not all porn is visual. For many women, reading books with explicit sexual descriptions can be destructive to our view of sexuality and the expectations of relationships. At one unfortunate end of the spectrum, you have some books glorifying sexual violence, brokenness, and victimhood instead of integrity and any kind of selfless, disciplined love. On the other end, women tend to turn to fictional love stories to fulfill our craving for romance because we are discouraged in our own love life and feel like “real love stories” do not exist.

There is a danger in this, though. Romance novels portray perfect guys. You know, the man that is sensitive, but also masculine. The guy who is just the right amount of protective over you, but also does not cling to you like dog fur. The guy that never checks out other girls and gets jealous when another guy flirts with you. Oh, and on top of that killer personality, he looks like a Greek god. A lot of these books have similar plots. It goes like this…girl meets hot guy, he’s rebellious, free-spirited, and falls madly in love with her, they get into a serious relationship, and suddenly he changes his ways; he becomes a sweet, sensitive guy who never glances at other women. Newsflash ladies: that is not how real-life works. The habits that a person has before you start dating them will carry into your dating relationship and then your marriage.

So, how does the innocent glance at an image or writing or video turn into a destructive addiction? Pornography addiction results from the attempt to receive intimacy without risking rejection. There is zero vulnerability, and to many, porn offers them the safest form of a relationship. Many of us deeply fear the rejection that could come with being known by another person. If someone sees all our flaws, we fear that we will not be loved. This is where pornography becomes so tempting. It offers us a way to satisfy our desire for intimacy without any of the risk.

In reality though, the shame which comes from porn fuels isolation and drives us further away from the true intimacy we are searching for. Porn teaches a lifestyle of selfishness – it gives nothing and takes everything. The best way to describe it is as a “counterfeit intimacy.” Our culture is under this deceptive impression that we can be fully known and fully loved by social media, and pornography alone is the culprit of diminishing real relationships.

More than ever, there is a deep need for sexual restoration, healing, and change in our world.

Pornography is a dehumanizing act within itself, and when you see the science behind it, the psychology that backs it, and the impact it has on real people, I do not know how we can keep saying “pornography isn’t really that big of a deal.”

Porn revenue exceeds that of the NFL, MLB, and NBA combined. It also exceeds the revenue of television networks CBS, NBC, and ABC combined. Child porn generates three billion dollars annually and the number one searched type of porn on the internet is “teen.” You say that that is no big deal? Seems like a big deal to me. So now the question — Why should you care?

If you are a parent, you should care because most likely, by the age of 11, your child will be exposed to pornography, or, sadly, may be objectified in the mind of another. If you are a spouse, you should care about what pornography could do to your partner and the impact it could have on your marriage. If you do not want to date a guy or girl that will view you as a sum of body parts instead of a person with a soul that yearns to be cared for with emotional intimacy, you should care. And if you watch porn, you should know and care what the consequences are, realizing that you are doing yourself and your relationships an immense disservice.      

Basically, if you want to build a less violent world and respect your fellow human beings, the answer is simple: start taking steps to stop watching pornography and investing in real intimacy,  instead of counterfeit intimacy. If you’re looking for some ideas on accountability and support, here are a few:    

The Fortify App from Fight the New Drug - According to their site, 88% of users report a decrease in porn usage long-term. It allows you to track areas of vulnerability, connect with others online who are on the same journey, and point you to resources specific to your situation. Plus, for every subscription, they donate money to helping teens break free from the chains of pornography - which is AWESOME! You can view a video of how the app works here: https://www.joinfortify.com/.    

Invest in a relationship with a mentor who you can confide in - We know that the majority of us struggle with porn, or are in relationship with someone who struggles with pornography, yet very few of us discuss it because it cuts us deeply.    

Covenant Eyes - With a monthly subscription, you are able to monitor your electronic devices and what they are streaming. Every week, the website sends a report of your activity to a previously selected trusted friend. This encourages ongoing conversations with trusted friends and invests in real relationships.  

The Novus Project or Harvest USA - For parents struggling to talk about pornography with their children, both of these platforms have resources that have been developed    

To be fully known and fully loved will NEVER happen through the screen of a computer - and if you are under the impression that it will, you are chasing the wind and slowly being destroyed by your pursuit.  Your relationships, love life, and sex life deserve better than any temporary pleasure that pornography whispers it can offer you.

*Source: [*] Olmstead, S. B., Negash, S., Pasley, K., & Fincham, F. D. (2013). Emerging Adults’ Expectations For Pornography Use In The Context Of Future Committed Romantic Relationships. Archives Of Sexual Behavior, 42, 625-635. Doi:10.1007/S10508-012-9986-7; Mitchell, K. J., Becker-Blease, K. A., & Finkelhor, D. (2005). Inventory Of Problematic Internet Experiences Encountered In Clinical Practice. Professional Psychology: Research And Practice, 36, 498-509. Doi:10.1037/0735-7028.36.5.498

source http://humandefense.com/the-effect-of-pornography-on-families/

[democratsunited-blog]

Sex education, party politics shake up race for Millard school board | Elections

https://uniteddemocrats.net/?p=9191

Sex education, party politics shake up race for Millard school board | Elections

Sex ed and politics are stirring up the Millard school board race.

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Dulce Sherman

Democrat Dulce Sherman says she wants to serve the Millard community, advocating for special education, high-ability learners and suicide prevention.

But her run for the Millard board has the potential to change the political flavor of a board that historically tilts to the right.

Supported by the Nebraska Democratic Party, the self-described “community activist” whose four boys attended Millard schools will have to knock off one of three incumbents to get elected.

Her run is generating heat with one of those incumbents.

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Mike Kennedy

Republican Mike Kennedy, in his 16th year on the board, is questioning Sherman’s connection to an organization that pushed to bring comprehensive sex education to the Omaha Public Schools.

“I think people in Millard need to take a look at that,” he said.

Kennedy also suggested that the Nebraska Democratic Party is targeting the race, but party Chair Jane Kleeb said Sherman is receiving the same support as other down-ballot candidates.

Four people are running for three at-large seats in the suburban district, Nebraska’s third largest.

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Stacy Jolley

She is a familiar face to Millard voters, a school volunteer for 14 years who served as co-chair of the successful levy override campaign.

The two Republican incumbents — Kennedy and Dave Anderson — have served almost 28 years combined.

If Jolley and Sherman both win, they will join incumbent Democrat Amanda McGill Johnson in securing for Democrats half the seats on the six-member board.

Sherman, who notes that she would be the first Latina on the Millard board, has received financial help from the Nebraska Democratic Party.

The state party reported making a $500 in-kind contribution and a $250 cash contribution to her campaign, as of the June 25 reporting deadline with the Nebraska Accountability and Disclosure Commission.

The daughter of Mexican immigrants, she is chair of the state party’s Latinx Caucus — that’s no misspelling; it’s the gender-neutral form of Latino .

Jolley does not hold any positions with the party, nor is the party aiding her, she said.

Kennedy said he believes that the Democrats are targeting the race with Sherman, an effort to “build a farm team” of candidates for higher office.

Although school board races can be sleepy affairs, particularly in suburban districts, the boards can be political stepping stones.

Before Jean Stothert was mayor of Omaha, she cut her teeth on the Millard board. Cliff Herd stepped from the Millard board to the Omaha City Council.

Kennedy pointed to a Facebook post in which Sherman thanked Kleeb and the Democrats for helping her campaign.

“Why would Jane Kleeb be involved in a school board race?” he said.

Kleeb said the party is not “targeting” the race.

Kleeb said Sherman is receiving support that’s available to Democratic candidates who request it.

She said that when she became chair, she wanted to make sure that down-ballot candidates had support.

The party’s $500 in-kind contribution represents the value of the free access to the party’s voter files, she said.

The $250 is from the party’s “candidates of color” fund that supports racially diverse candidates, she said.

The fund was set up “to make sure that our Democratic ticket was looking and sounding more like Nebraska communities,” she said.

Sherman is a member of the women’s advocacy group Women’s Fund of Omaha and serves on its Adolescent Health Project committee.

The group’s website lists as partners Planned Parenthood of the Heartland and OneWorld Community Health Centers, where Sherman works as human resources director.

Unlike in the Omaha Public Schools, Millard’s sex ed teachers don’t discuss sexual orientation, gender identity or abortion — topics left to parents.

Although LGBTQ advocates expressed concern about Millard’s silence on gender identity and sexual orientation, the curriculum was adopted without the contentious public meetings that drew overflow crowds in OPS.

“If you want to have abortion brought into the policy, that would be a major change for Millard,” Kennedy said. “And I think there would be a lot of families that would be very concerned that we would be counseling 13-, 14-year-old children about abortion options.”

In an interview, Sherman said she “absolutely” supports comprehensive sex education that would include teaching about gender identity and homosexuality. She declined to say if she would support teaching about abortion.

“I am a preacher’s daughter, so I was raised very strict,” Sherman said. “But I also had two sisters who were pregnant before they were married. So I’m a very good example where the lack of communication in education on comprehensive sex is limiting. Let’s leave the science to the schools. Let’s leave the values to the family to teach. Then let’s equip our students for their future.”

She said that historically, Millard updates curriculum every seven years, “so my position would not affect current policy that is already in place.”

Jolley also noted the curriculum update cycle, saying the next update wouldn’t occur until a second four-year term. She said that regardless of what’s covered in the curriculum, Millard schools are welcoming.

“I don’t believe that our building culture reflects anything other than kindness and acceptance,” she said.

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Dave Anderson

Anderson said the curriculum “meets the needs and wishes of our community.

“And I personally feel very good about trying to drive those conversations to the family,” he said. “I’m a proponent of that’s where they belong. But I also want to make sure that we have resources available for all kids, and for kids who would self-identify or would be in that group.”

The district can help those students through counselors and outside resources, he said.

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[travisandersondatingblog]

The Future of Sex Education

While much of the world fights over the right way to teach young people about sex, a growing number of sex educators and entrepreneurs are seeing some success in making it entertaining, inclusive, and as much about pleasure as health and science.

From Youtubers to Silicon Valley entrepreneurs, and now even adult entertainment companies, there is a growing digital library of information to help answer almost any question about sex and sexuality. Some forums, such as the subreddit r/sex, which now has nearly 800,000 members, have become safe-havens for people to anonymously ask questions with less fear of judgment.

“I grew up in Hong Kong…schools here are not obligated to have a specific learning experience called ‘sex education,’” says Chow Pok Him, a student who never speaks to his parents about sex. Chow learned more accurate information from the collective experience of other Reddit users than he did from his instructors at school, he says, including about the proper way to use a condom.

“When the topic does get discussed [in school], the discussion focuses mostly on the mechanics of reproduction rather than sex itself,” he says. Instructors are noticeably uncomfortable, and students feel embarrassed to ask questions because “people still employ the old way of thinking in which they associate sex with negativity,” that it is “disgusting, immoral or ‘loose.’”

Him’s experience is a familiar one in many parts of the world. The United Nations’ most recent report on global sexuality education, published in 2015, said that while an increasing number of governments have expressed interest in increasing comprehensive sex ed “there remains a significant gap between the numerous global and regional policies in place and the actual implementation on the ground.”

In the U.S., fewer than half of states require sex education, according to the Guttmacher Institute, a nonprofit that supports reproductive health and abortion rights. Rising rates of STIs, particularly among young people under 25, and research by Guttmacher and the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, suggest abstinence-only sex education does little to stop teens from being sexually active, or to prevent the spread of STIs and unwanted pregnancy. But in some states, sex education cannot be taught unless it stresses abstinence before marriage. Earlier this year, a bill proposed in one of those states, Utah, to allow parents to opt-in to comprehensive sex ed for their children, was killed.

Shannon Boodram, a clinical sexologist and Youtuber who likes to call herself the “Wal-Mart greeter of sex-ed,” says her own lack of sex education while growing up in Canada was part of the reason she decided to pursue sexology. “I went to a Catholic school, and I was called ‘lewd’ a lot at home…a lot of my natural expression for sexuality was suppressed a lot and shamed,” she said.

Meanwhile, sex education at her school stressed abstinence and taught students about sex as if “the only reason you would have sex is if you’re trying to self-sabotage,” for example to get a sexually-transmitted disease or an unwanted pregnancy, she said. “Aren’t we forgetting pleasure, intimacy, connection, the positive feelings?”

The lack of information led to what Boodram calls a “textbook, really bad teen sex life that left me feeling very low about myself.” She took matters into her own hands. “I’d spent the entire summer in the library just reading books because I’d had such a shitty teen sex life,” she said. Later, she authored the book “Laid: Young People’s Experiences with Sex in an Easy-Access Culture,” and started a Youtube channel that now has more than a quarter million subscribers.

Youtube has become perhaps the most popular platform for alternatives sources of sex ed. In addition to Boodram, it was a springboard for sex educators like Dr. Lindsey Doe, Laci Green, and others who collectively have millions of followers.

Doe, a doctor of human sexuality and a practicing clinical sexologist, is the host of Sexplanations, a channel with more than 360,000 subscribers. Her most popular video is one about “How to make toy vaginas,” which has been viewed more than 5 million times. Other popular videos include what she calls sex “edutainment” about anal sex, oral sex, and masturbation, all with a non-judgmentally straight face and what can only be described as a “nice teacher” voice.

Her expression and delivery, coupled with the occasional funny costume, can be very effective in neutralizing subject matter that is prone to make people giggle, while also adding a touch of deadpan humor. In one tutorial, viewed over a million times, Doe explains exactly how a tampon works and demonstrates insertion by wearing a pair of underwear outside her pants, with a vulva printed on it.

Some channels are also finding niches in providing educational content for younger children, or young people who may not get access to sex education that includes information about their sexuality or gender identity. Channels like Queer Kid Stuff, co-hosted by Lindsay Amer and her “best friend Teddy,” aim to fill those gaps with age-appropriate videos about LGBTQ+ issues, including difficult-to-explain subjects like homophobia.

Meanwhile, a number of startups are looking to take sex education further. For Goodness Sake, LLC’s, OMGYES, for example, uses scientific research, videos and simulations to coach both women and men 18 and over to achieve sexual pleasure for themselves, or their partners.

Even adult entertainment companies want to help. Pornhub, the biggest site for streaming pornography, which generated 23 billion visits last year, launched a site called the Pornhub Sexual Wellness Center with articles and Q&As covering some basics about sexual anatomy, STIs and reproductive health.

Still, leaving sex education to the Internet has its dangers. There is as much, if not more, misinformation as there is good information, which can be harmful to young people who don’t have adults in their lives to talk to openly about sex.

A visit to any open, anonymous forum reveals many messages from young people asking questions about their sexual health, including questions about diagnosing STIs or reproductive health issues. They say they’re afraid that if they go to the doctor, their parents will find out they’re sexually active. Many ask if their doctors or parents can run physical tests to determine if they have masturbated, or if they have ever had sex.

Andrea Barrica, founder and CEO of sexual wellness education startup O.school, says her platform provides a safe place for educators to teach about everything from trauma to cultural shame around pleasure, for users who are 18 and older. But while doing outreach on college campuses, Barrica says she is discovering that a lack of comprehensive, and inclusive, sex education leaves people in need of sex education well beyond adolescence. “I have gone to Ivy League schools and had people not understand their basic anatomy, or who’ve never seen their genitalia,” she says. “We assume that because the Internet, [young people] have access to so much information, but it’s just not getting to them.”

Sexplanations tries to help parents get comfortable with the idea of talking to their kids about sex, with a section with 22 videos about adolescent sexual health. Planned Parenthood also has a site with resources for parents about how to answer questions about sex starting as early as preschool.

There are tons of sites with great and accurate information regarding sex ed and sexual health. STDcheck.com strives to be one of these online resources, especially in terms of sexually transmitted infections.

The post The Future of Sex Education appeared first on STD Exposed - Sexual Health Blog.

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[catswimsalot-blog]

PP, abortion & stuff.

With the ongoing controversy about Planned Parenthood, I think it’s about time for our generation to speak up. What does this issue mean to us? Has it helped, hurt or done nothing for girls today? If you ask me, personally, I’d say that Planned Parenthood gave me my life back – no fear of the future or dredging up of the past. Some states teach about safe sex, some tell us not to have sex, and some like my high school basically avoided the topic as much as they legally could. However, I knew better then to have unprotected sex, unlike some of my friends (how did they get so lucky?) so I never had sex without a condom because that’s the smart thing to do. So after realizing I couldn’t deal with my bitchy self any longer (and my boyfriend dumped me) - I got off the pill. Two years later, I was 21 at the time; I started talking to a guy. We took it so slow and it was perfect and then finally the night came where we decided to sleep together. It seemed perfect and everything was falling into place. Until… Two months later I kept getting sick, only to realize I didn’t remember if I had my period and the classic load of anxiety that comes with it. So while on my Thanksgiving break, pretending to be sick to my family, I went to a Planned Parenthood in town. They did another test and confirmed that I was about six weeks pregnant. As the nurses coaxed me through the different options I already knew what I had to do. I couldn’t have a baby, I was a swimmer for UA and had no plans to spend the rest of my life caring for a kid at that point. Many people think this is a selfish decision, and you’re right, it is. Yes, it was my selfish decision, but with all the pressure as a college student and people saying we aren’t just stay at home moms, we work and we’re as successful as men. Well that makes it hard to know what to do, but I already knew. I knew he wasn’t the one for me, neither of us wanted a kid, and honestly he was so relieved to hear that, it only confirmed my decision. I didn’t make this decision for just me though, I made it for the kid who was going to grow up with an unhappy, stressed out mother and I didn’t want that. Misconceptions about Planned Parenthood: 1. It is NOT always free. I paid the $500 for a procedure that would make my life normal again. Therefore not your tax money that was used because I could afford it. (I know this isn’t always the case, but its not always “bad” people that get help here.) 2. Most often abortion procedures are done in the luxury of your own home. You can take a pill at the office, then 24-48hrs later you take another. This breaks down the tissues etc. and you pass it AT HOME 3. They are not malicious people. I was cared for and felt more comfortable there than in any doctors, dentists or any other offices ever. They make sure this is what you want, they provide support ask if you need any type of therapy sessions With all the controversy going on about Planned Parenthood, I don’t have proof that they didn’t do these things, but I do know that’s not what happened with me. This may just be one story, but it’s a story that hasn’t been told, until now. Abortion is a sticky issue and normally I don’t enter the conversation for fear my blood will boil and I’ll start yelling at the people who don’t see the good in this place. Just think – If I had kept the child, I would have refused to give it up for adoption, because well it was mine. This means a 21 year old student athlete would’ve had a child and probably would’ve gone on welfare. Basically taxes suck and no one likes paying for other peoples shit, but hey were going to do it regardless of if Planned Parenthood ever gets shutdown or not, so may as well deal with it now and let people make this choice for themselves. It is their life to live, not anyone else’s.